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#151 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:16 PM
I would like to change my name to SantaFulmine

It was just another boring day. I wake up early and didn't know what to do.

- I'm tired of this,- I said to myself. - I hate this stupid life. I feel like a loser and I must try to do something to change it.
But what? I don't know.

I went to the shower. On the way I caught a pot, and it crashed. Deciding to take a shower first, and then clean out, I still went to the shower.

- What should I do? - I asked the shower. - How to change my life?

It seemed to me that the water is whispering. I started to listen, and I thought she said "change your name ... you must change your name ...". I stepped out of the shower and stood before the mirror. But who am I? Who am I?
Back in the room, I found that the fragments of broken pot formed in a pattern. I leaned over them and found that they are similar to the letter S. I got up and struck the cabinet. There fell a book whose title begins on A.I began to leaf through the book at random finger picking letters. From these letters I made the name Santa. Yes, it sounds good. But I also needed a new surname. I walked around the room, thinking about it. I did not notice that my cat came into the room, I almost stepped on it and fell, hitting a table on which stood a few glasses. Naturally, the glasses were broken. Getting up from the floor I examined the fragments of broken glasses. I have found that they have turned in a word. Fulmine - what it was. OK, this will be my surname. And after that I feel much better.


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#152 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:18 PM
Darn, I still want to change my username to QueenCatlin so I've thought of another story:

My friend and I we're camping - and we were lying in our tent in the pitch black. She reached out a hand and touched me to get my attention. The suddenly asked 'What's that?'.
"My elbow" I replied.
She laughed and said 'Oh, they feel like breast implants'.
The only reply I could think of was 'How do you know what breast implants feel like'

Now, every time I see her she tries to grab my elbows and I yell at her (loudly) for feeling up my breast implants. As you can imagine, we get a lot of strange looks.


(I'm losing track of which ones really belong with each other.... Anyway this one was granted.)

I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
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#153 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:19 PM
Hi folks.


My background-story:
Once upon a time I didn't have net on my own, but only could get online at a friends house. We shared a lot, including an account at a social network site. We merged our reallife names, both used the account and had an incredible time. Slowly got used to the name and started adapting it for things on my own. She has her very own mts account and is totally happy with it. Now the social network doesn't exist any longer, I'm evo 2 now and am "building" my own personality (with that must-have-mod: no-sparkles-in-build-mode). Still being friends with that wonderful female, but having my own interests nowerdays.

The other story:
I have to get up early in the morning every day. And come back home late in the evening. Yet I still want to game. Being addicted to the Sims for over 10 years now, it still has me in its ties. Recently I overdid it - came home, started the game, building houses all night long till early in the morning. Had a shower, went to work and looked like a Zombie. Instead of falling asleep over paperworks, I started telling anekdotes, cos I was definitely sleepdrunk. Not enough sleep sends out hormones and the likes which have an impact on your body. I wouldn't recommend it, yet I don't regret it. The house came out better than hoped for and my collegues wished me a good-night when I went home. Ofc I fell to sleep immediately. xD

Nowerdays my fiancee still has to check on me every once in a while and carry me to bed, cos I do NOT want to stop working on my worlds / neighboorhoods / houses. He calls me silly, but being in love with the Sims is uncurable. I usually act like a 4 years old when I'm sleepdrunk, but he doesn't mind much, cos he knows: With enough sleep, I'm back to reasonable. (As reasonable as a woman can get, we're born to be emotionally driven ).

The request: I'd love to become "Sleepdrunk" here, too. (Got a fitting avatar on hand already aswell). Used the member search and haven't found it yet. Would be my pleasure, thank you. =)


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#154 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:19 PM
I want my name to be changed to theunexpected .Theres a small park in my city with a basketball court. I went with my friend so we could just chill at the park and watch people. I am deffinetly not basketball player and the last time I played basket ball that time was probably 3 years ago. I know absolutely nothing about basketball and I still don't.
So these kids that were obviously really good layers were playing basketball and all of a sudden they were trying to make a shot all they way across the court. The court was big! My friend had her basketball with her so she tried all the way across the court and nothing. The guys keg trying making jokes and stuff. And I just wanted. Try since about everyone in the fricon park was trying . I'm short so I'm not so good at basketball. So my first shot across the court. Made it in! But of course I farted while I was throwing the ball. It made it in but I farted while doing it so it was just really awkward and the guys started giggling . And the fart was LOUD. That was really embarrassing and unexpecting. The fart just came out of no where too. Smh. Just had to share that embarrassing story.That's why I wanna change my name to theunexpected

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#155 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:20 PM
Greetings, moderators

I'm hoping I can get my name changed from jen&tonic to dyslexictree mostly because the & in my current name seems to confuse the website and looks funny, but also because I am dyslexic and I like trees. I hope a story from my unfortunate youth is enough to amuse you.

I am a first child, so when I was born my parents did what many many new parents did and worried about doing everything perfectly. In some huge lapse in judgement, they decided they would just avoid feeding me chocolate (I don't know why, I'm not a dog) until I was two. They also watered down my juice and didn't feed me meat, only veggie patties and tofu dogs. Understandably, I was a bit confused by my friends' eating habits when I first started school. Some of these things still affect me - I don't like the taste of meat (and became a vegetarian to avoid it) and I can't drink fruit juice without thinking that it's way too strong.

One day, I was dragged along to some sort of social gathering with my parents. I'm sure I was quite entertaining because I could do a trick where you could point at something purple and ask "what color is this?" and I would say "purple!" Of course, if you pointed at something of any other color I would say it was also purple, but if performed correctly it was quite impressive. While my parents were talking to boring adults about boring adult things, I was looking around at the food selection. The platter I found most notable was one that was covered in brownies.

I pointed at them and said, "Look! Veggie burgers!"

My parents still tell this story. They don't seem to be embarrassed at all that they raised a kid that for years had no knowledge of one of the most delicious foods in the world.

EDIT: Thanks

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#156 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:21 PM
Once upon a time, there was a girl who was named HannahTheSimmingFool. Probably one of the weirdest, most socially awkward people in the world who picked the worst usernames ever upon joining websites. This girl was hiding from who knows what under a table in a random room with the entire cast of the TV show The Rugrats. Bear in mind, she's one of the weirdest people ever. So, after Phil and Lil's mother not-so-kindly telling her to shut up after she said nothing, the girl and the Rugrats saw shoes walking over to their hiding place. A wave of panic washed over the merry band of misfits. Upon looking closely at the shoes, HannahTheSimmingFool realized that they were tap shoes. Her eyes wandered to the legs of the mysterious figure. It looked as if the figure had extremely red... fur on its legs. It also had a cape on. And nothing else. Ewwwww. Nudist! she thought, her eyebrows furrowing. But more panic came over her when she realized who it was.

Elmo.

Yes. It was that furry beast who was the figure looming over her and the Rugrats crew. A smile crept on his face as he stared at her intensely. He had... fangs in his mouth. Fangs were an indication of a vampire. So, HannahTheSimmingFool came to the conclusion that the puppet was a vampire. Vampire, tap dancing Elmo?! the simming fool thought quizzically to herself, Could things get stranger? It seemed as if the devious puppet knew her thoughts, because at that moment, he tap danced across the floor right in front of her and the crew. Her jaw dropped. He was no Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire, but he was pretty good. Shuffling, flapping, and toe-standing his way across the floor, his musical interlude came to an abrupt stop and his soulless eyes locked to hers. Maniacal cackles erupted from the crimson puppet's lips.

"YOU FOOL!" the puppet shrieked inhumanely. Cackling even more, the bloodshot figurehead descended under the table with intense speed. The Rugrats and the fool screamed in terror as the puppet shrieked in delight. Everything went black.

The same event happened in the fool's imagination over and over again regularly. The name reminds her too much of this utterly traumatic event of her past. So, she respectfully asked the rulers of the kingdom of which she resided, Mod The Sims, that her name be changed to The Raven.


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I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
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#157 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:21 PM
Hello all...

After some major changes in my life and a couple of years creating sims 2 hair recolours with this pseudonym, I feel it's time I went back to using a variation of my real name. Although I have enjoyed the name change, it has been a challenge to link up my identity in all areas of my social life online using such an unusual pseudonym. So, before I ask very nicely to change my username, I have brought a funny story to the thread as requested by the moderators. I hope you all enjoy Fred's Note.

***************************************************************************************************

Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.

He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube?"

***************************************************************************************************

If it is acceptable I would like to kindly ask the moderators to change my username to Sadi Kalen.

Thank you for your consideration.


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#158 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:22 PM
Ok im going to try again, I REALLY need to change my user name to: The Regal Sim

I have been having issues with my MTS name as far as my objects go, i have my own site that i made to upload stuff and i am known as The Regal Sim, so it would only make sense i have the same name everywhere, i actually have had some issues with people saying im stealing TDC95's creations when i am TDC95 to prevent this i NEED my name changed, and i would be SO Grateful if you could do this for me!

I have no funny story relating to my new user name but i can tell you something funny that's unrelated that actually happened to me:


This is a story of an old lady named Marie, who liked to stuff me with nasty food; I was about 13 when this happened.

I met this lady named Marie when my sister and mother went over to her house for lunch, I met her when she was about the age of 63, & she was short and somewhat plump, I warmly shook her by the hand and said nice to meet you. I noticed her house was quite full of clutter, she was very uncleanly as well, she had the habit of keeping food past its expiration date which was not that appealing to me, but I ignored it, and just hoped for the best, what was on the menu for today’s lunch I wondered, well she had told me before we eat why don’t we have some tea and corn muffins, I said no thank you I’m good, of course my mother said o but Tyler you love corn muffins! I looked Marie in the eyes, and I could not hurt her feeling so, I said to myself, suck it up and eat the muffin, so I waited for her to get them she pulls them out of this cabinet she had. They had this layer of something black on them, it looked rather unappetizing. I took one bite and………. It tasted like poison burning my tongue bitter and nasty beyond all comprehension of the human brain…. She also had a small dog named buddy, seeing as she was talking up a storm with my sister and mother I decided to get the dogs attention, so he comes over to me as I call his name, I put the corn muffin in my hand and lean over slightly as not to attract to much attention to myself, and hand it to the dog, buddy looks at it for a few seconds sniffs it, licks it once and then runs off like something was chasing him, the only thing I had in my mind was what was lunch and desert going to be like? So on the soup she said she had something special made for us broccoli and cheese soup, this time I had a excuse I don’t eat cheese, but once more she gave me that look, and my mom didn’t want me to be rude, so she pulls this cup out of this dreaded cabinet and it was full of dust, it also had food on it left over from the last meal she had put in it, and I was not so sure about this, she pours the soup in the bowl and I find a hair floating in my soup, i stare at this thing in the bowl floating around and she says to me o I’m sorry I see you don’t have any crackers, let me get you some, I say no I’m good, but then again my mom says o have some crackers with your soup, then she pulls this tin can of Zesta crackers out and what happens next seems like it was from a horror movie, once the lid is off the can, I see hundreds of bugs like crazy flying out, all that was missing was the sound of an organ and lightning flashing…… I quickly eat this thing called soup as fast as I can…………….. Never to be forgotten the taste of this meal……………. Last but not least is desert Marie tells us that she made angel food cake with strawberry frosting, I think in my mind, hey cake, this can’t be that bad…….. Man I was wrong, so I ask for a slice of this cake thinking wow that looks good………. I take the first bite and the cake was so sour a lemon would not stand a chance and this thing was a brick I mean really it took like 5 bites to get it to go down…….. All I can say about this event that took place is don’t eat old ladies cooking if you know what good for you!

The end, hope thats good enough to change my name


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#159 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:25 PM
I've had this horrible dryness in the nostril region for nearly three weeks now. None stop, awful pain!

*WARNING*
Explicit material in the following paragraph. Not for the weak-stomached.
I mean...it was like the Sahara up in there. I'd wake up in the morning and my nose would be so stiff from the crispy-crusty-tender-flaky-crust that had formed in there during the night. "Gross!" you say? Once you've experienced it in your own nose get back with me on that complaint.
So, finally I had enough. It was time to bring irrigation to my nostrils. I took a trip to Wally-World where I found this product called Ayr. That is the nastiest stuff I will ever spray up my nose. I didn't think I could handle jamming that cold plastic up my nose three times a day and misting my airways with poison. Fortunately for me it came with a free trial size of the GEL version.
The compassion of the Father was shining down on me.
So, that night I applied some with a Q-tip (that felt weird, but better than the poison spray of nasal death). And the next morning I felt better but it wasn't going away.
ANYWAY...to the point of the story.
The trial size version was only 1.25 grams. It ran out pretty fast and the saline solution wasn't going anywhere near my breathe holes.
I laid down for bed and my nose was already hurting...I didn't want to wake up with C-C-T-F-C.
Then I saw it. A glimmer of yellow joy.
On my night stand seemingly glowing in the moon rays through my window was my tube of CARMEX. I could...No! I laughed at the notion. I couldn't possibly put tha...
Then I reached for it.
Yes, I did! I put Carmex up my nose. And this cooling sensation went through me. IT WAS HEAVENLY! The pain went silently into the night.
When I woke the next morning, the dry crusty barren wasteland that had migrated into my nose had been replaced by a rain forest. I had been saved!

(true story)

MORAL:
If it's dry and crusty...CARMEXDiem...It Soothes!

I would like to honor my nasal hero by taking on it's name... CARMEXDiem!

Thank you for listening.


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#160 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:28 PM
I would like to change my name to cyclo_tripz. When I signup for things I don't care about, I usually have flerp, hurperflerp, flerpadurp, etc. as a username under the "real" name of Andy Griffin. I have become serious about creating and modding so I would like to change to my game tagger-name, cyclo_tripz.

I have used Andy Griffin for so many years that he has become an actual person (I am a she btw). Andy lives in California and has a P.O. Box in Riverside. There are about five credit cards in his name and he has signed up for a teaching certificate at the nearby community college. Andy has extremely finely-tuned polite manners and usually says things like "good day to you, sir." Andy has many gift certificates he can renew with Walmart and Best Buy as well. A certain user sends him e-cards everyday mentioning a certain private chat room with a webcam that Andy may view for free for the first 15 minutes. The FDA sent him an email today about a new vaginal mesh and he received a notice that his birth control, Yasmin, may have caused a gall bladder infection. The Vydox trial Andy signed up for apparently isn't working. When he's not flirting on zoosk or preparing for his lawsuit against gentamicin, Andy spends an incredible amount of time in Sweden. Why Sweden? Well, Andy Griffin is an exclusive member of a private pirate ship. This ship enables him to sneak past country borderlines and smuggle floppy disks from Korea. Andy can speak just about any language listed under Google Translate's support page as well. Andy is eagerly waiting for his custom Schnuffel Häschen to arrive from Paderborn, Germany that he bought for 5 Euros on ebay. Andy Griffin changes his IP address every hour and has visited every country in the world. I'm not sure why Andy Griffin has his own fake name, Uta Hita -a 21 year old Japanese girl who is a fangirl of various boybands. He's probably embarrassed of all the erotic fanfics he writes about said boybands - I mean the fanfics *Uta Hita* writes about. Andy is the most grammatically correct person on 4chan and secretly worships both Chuck Norris and Billy Mays. It has been said that Andy bravely fought and pwned each admin at MATY. No, Andy did not vote for Obama this year because he was too busy having tea with the Rothschild family and discussing how to use the defrost button to thaw out Walt Disney. There you have it, Andy Griffin is the most interesting man in the world.

If that didn't work, my cat has been in heat for nearly a month straight. She won't shut up so I have tried throwing nearby items at her, trapping her in a box, spraying her with water, and closing my door. I became so fed up one night that I grabbed a Q-tip ... and you can probably tell what I did next. It actually worked that night or I might have passed out and dreamt this all up. I am sleep-deprived
------------------------------------
Second try


Alright, now I am thinking that my story was inappropriate because it discusses fraud and animal abuse. I know I have to wait but I'm starting to think my story isn't amusing enough >.> I'm eager to upload under cyclo_tripz instead of flerp, so I'm just going to make a second back-up story just in case. This one isn't racist, it's more of an island thing.

Flerp liked to derp just like every moke (local) on this island. He would get teased by haoles (foreigners) since he spoke pidgin jargon instead of proper English. One day as Flerp was eating sunflower seeds and spitting them all over the floor and into the wind, when a haole passed by and told him that he should learn how to eat properly. Flerp became mad and yelled, "Oi what, you fawkan howly?! You like scrap, brah?!" The haole then laughed and slowly said as if he was speaking to a complete derp, "Sorry... I [he pointed to himself] ... NO [he gestured an X with his hands] ... make [he opened and closed his hands]... scrapbook!" Humiliated, Flerp called the boy a "fawkan howly" and began jumping up and down in a circle with his fists raised. A random passerbyer yelled, "HO, dem like scrap!" The boy still couldn't stop laughing and yelled, "What are you doing? Are you trying to act like a UFC fighter or a chicken with its head cut off?!" Furious, Flerp ran towards the haole and halfway at the haole he began hopping back saying, "HO, hold me back! Hold me back!" Impatient, the haole lunged at Flerp and tackled him to the ground. As the haole began wailing at Flerp, security showed up and separated the haole from Flerp.

Flerp felt like such a derp. Sure, Flerp was wearing a generic Billabong shirt that read "FBI: From Big Island" along with surfer shorts, and slippahs (flip-flops), but Flerp had never felt so shame. As another moke passed by, Flerp began saying out loud, "HO, that fawken howly! I almost geffim! I had to stop cuz da kine, Uncle, came!" The moke walked up to Flerp in response and said, "Ay, he's a quarter, go buy yourself a clue!" Flerp defended himself by saying, "HO brah, I was trowing punches! I trew tree brah!" The moke countered by saying, "You couldn't trow it into the ocean!" Flerp knew the other moke was right, and decided to change himself. No more, would Flerp sit on the bus chewing sunflower seeds and attempt to spit the shells out into the window, only to have the shells backfire and splatter back into his face. No more, would Flerp mention trees while in math class. No more, would Flerp wander around with his shirt off and scratch himself while talking story. And no more, would every conversation end with Flerp doing the shaka and saying, "Shoots den brah!"He would no longer derp around like Flerp!

Flerp went to the doctor during Teen Clinic and talked story about his problems, so the doctor prescribed him two pills to take everyday to suppress his inner moke. Flerp couldn't pronounce the names, so he combined the two and created cyclo_tripz. *True story brah*

Here's a great youtube video about local humor as well: Auntie Marialani's Cooking Show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws70oI3yMBc

(Granted) (I just posted the link instead of "decorating it". )

I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
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#161 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:32 PM
I would like to change my name to AdonisPluto. My reason for the request is this.
I have this girl that i really like and have been trying to woe her. But when I showed her my profile name here on MTS she laughed at me and said to me "you are not that KOOL at all". When I asked her what she meant, She said "the KOOL ones are those that have a Capital letter on their names.

She was like take a look at
Jay Z



Coolio



Snoop Dog



And finally she said to me "if you want to get a beautiful chick like me




then you must have a capital letter on your name"

So please I would be grateful if my profile name is changed to AdonisPluto


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#162 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:36 PM
Ah, thank you, Delphy! Funny story ahoy, then (true story as well), as to why I want to change to just Esmeralda and drop the F:

Esmeralda has been my nickname since when at age 8, I was good friends with three siblings around my age and we all used to hang out together. They happened to have an uncle who worked as a clown at various children's events, and one Saturday morning he was hosting a children's show at our local movie theatre.

He did magic tricks, blew up balloons and turned them into animals and so on, and then he announced that he would be giving out prizes to any children whose names matched those he called out. He proceeded to call out a string of unlikely names, such as Aloysius, Henrietta, Grendel, Esmeralda... When he said Esmeralda, my three friends pushed me down the aisle and onto the stage, gleefully shouting 'HER name's Esmeralda! HER name's Esmeralda!'. Their uncle was clearly not pleased, but in order to save face, he gave me the prize.

When my friends got home, they all got punished for lying, and I got forever after referred to as Esmeralda.

Nowadays I use that name as my handle on my favourite websites, but when attempting to register on MTS, I was dismayed to find the name already taken. And to make things worse, by someone who had never even posted here. In my frustration, I uttered a rude word beginning with F. Unable to think fast enough on my feet to come up with anything clever to add to Esmeralda so that I could register, I simply added the first letter of the rude word.

So there you have the sordid truth: the F is not an innocent initial, but a permanent grim reminder that I was being a pottymouth. I would dearly love to feel clean again and be just plain Esmeralda.


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#163 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:37 PM
Hello!

I'd like to change my username. "3mo co0ki3s!" is so juvenile and it's hard for me to login since I always forget what is supposed to be a letter and what is supposed to be a number!
The only reason I chose that name is because me and my friends used to be like, "HERR DERR! Let's go be all emo and sit in corners with boxes over our heads and write 'emo turtle' on the box because we look like turtles and turtles are COOL!" (And I also like cookies)
...Uh... yeah. People always thought we were weird but we thought we were the coolest kids in school! We thought emo people were the coolest people IN THE WORLD! I look back and think "How could we be SO stupid?!" And that was almost three years ago which isn't a whole lot of time!
Since then I've changed and become less juvenile and my sense of fashion and my personality has changed.
Now, people ask me what kind of music I listen to and when I respond, their response goes something like, "What the f**k is that s**t!? That s**t sucks!" Before I even tell people what I listen to I always tell them that they wouldn't know who/what they are. But they make me tell them anyway.
So, I'd like my username to be change to NerdyUnknownMusic because now Iv'e become a nerd and the music I like is almost completely unknown to others!

I also want to become a more active user and I find the name "3mo co0ki3s!" to be quite embarrassing!

Edit:
Thanks to whoever changed my username! I really appreciate it!

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#164 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:39 PM
A Short Story By Laserai

One day their was a young boy who was on his way to church. His grandfather had given him two brand new shiny silver dollars. His grandfather even told him exactly what he was going to do with them. One silver dollar you will give to God and the other you will hold for yourself and buy some ice cream after church.

The idea of some tasty sweet ice cream after church sounded great and he couldn't wait! So all throughout the service he would occasionally pull the coins out to look them over and play with them.

During a break the boy goes outside and once again he is playing with his coins when suddenly he accidently drops one of the coins and away it rolls. He tries to catch it but its rolling away so fast when . . . . it falls into a storm drain. He even manages to hear it clatter to the bottom with a resounding sound.

Now what does he do? The boy looks to the single dollar he still has then he looks back at the drain.

He repeats this for a few times and finally he looks to the heavens and cries: "I am so sorry God but I'm 'afraid I lost your dollar!"

Well, thats the best I got which I heard from a friend. Hilarious really. Anyway, were looking for a name change to DAE Firms. Since my sister and I are working jointly on projects now, this way were both well represented. I hope this story entertains you as much as it did me.

___________________________________________________________
Second try after Mootilda suggested just making a new, joint account:


Lasira: Well, my brother has told me I am not one to give up. If I have a problem in front of me, I am like a pitbull who grabs on and doesn't let go no matter what. So you want a funny or amusing story?

How about I tell you about a particular day I had at work at a pharmacy where I once worked years ago. I won't tell you where, names or anything else like that due to HIPAA so don't ask. What is HIPAA, google it?

Call transcript for day

Me: Good morning, thanks for calling yada pharmacy, what can we do for you today?

Customer: There is something wrong with this medicine yall gave me.

Me: What is your name?

Customer: My name is John Smith.

Me: Okay, Mr. Smith, we have your records pulled up. Can you explain what is the problem?

Customer: This medicine has a very strange taste to it. Is it suppose to taste this bad?

Me: What is the name of the prescription?

Customer: (fjhslfffjslsnjf)

Me: Hmm, sir just to confirm, did you say you actually took this medicine by mouth?

Customer: Yeah, that's what the directions said right?

Me: I am sorry sir but our records indicate the directions on the prescription do not indicate oral use. The medicine is a suppository. Their supposed to be taken once a day rectally.

Customer: Rectally? What the heck does that mean? Could you speak English?

Me: Rectally . . . that is up your arse sir.

Customer: What did you say!?

Me: Its a rectal suppository, sir. The medicine is absorbed through your rectum, your back end tract uhm your rear door exit point.

Customer: Ah man, you serious!? I can't believe I actually put this thing in my mouth and swallowed it. . . . . Am I gonna die?

Me: No sir, you will be fine but I wouldn't suggest you do that again.

Customer: No worries there. I am calling my doc right now to change this. Why didn't he tell me I was gonna have to cram this stuff up my . . well there.

Me: I wish I knew sir. Is there anything else we can do for you today?

Customer: No, that's all I have. Thanks for your help. Good bye!

Me: Thanks for calling, good bye!


Lasira: Believe it or not this call actually happened. I couldn't believe it once it was over and my comrades in the pharmacy couldn't stop laughing when they heard it. Don't ask but I will go to my grave on when, where, who it was since obviously the name isn't John Smith.

Still, if this isn't amusing enough for you I got tons more from my days in pharmacy. You would be surprised how many people don't know how to follow simple directions or worse yet don't even bother to read them.

So our decision still stands that we would like that name change to DAE Firms. We believe it would be the smartest thing to do since people already come to us for at least seven productions we have made this year. Making another profile would mean trying to direct all that traffic to a new profile losing potential clients along the way.

I know its not easy changing a name on a site with so many users but we would really appreciate your help on this. Thanks again everyone.

I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
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#165 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:41 PM
I'd really like to get my name changed to Johnny_Bravo.
Ehh yeah sice I can't write suggestion into a story here's a seperate story:

Zandvoort and the Delphy went to the state fair every year, and every year Zandvoort would say, 'Delphy, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Delphy always replied, 'I know Zandvoort, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.'

One year Delphy and Zandvoort went to the fair, and Zandvoort said, 'Delphy, I'm 85 years old, if I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' Delphy replied, 'Zandvoort that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.' The pilot heard them and said, 'folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride; if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! but if you say one word, it's 50 dollars.'

Zandvoort and Delphy agreed and up they went. the pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. he did his dare devil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Zandvoort and said, 'by golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't . I'm impressed!'

Zandvoort replied, 'well I almost said something when Delphy fell out, but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!

I hope it works this way, too. And Delphy, this wasn't something to offend you, I just picked a random Admin's name

(Granted)

I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
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#166 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:42 PM
*
A woman goes into a clinic while holding a baby ... Suddenly she saw a weighing scale for adults.She approaches the scale with a confused look.

A clinic staff saw it ...and approached her and asked why does she looks confused.

"Actually, I would like to wight this baby, but this tool is not for the baby" the woman said.

"This is true,the scales are for adults.But it still can be used for weighing babies.The trick is the baby and mother goes up onto the scales ... then see how much they weight...After that,the mother went up alone on these scales and see how much she weights.
I can help carry this baby. Then ... The mother and the baby weight subtracts the mother's weight..and voila you will get the baby's weight!..the staff said

Owh...But it's still not possible!..said the women

"Why? Asked the staff wondering ...

"Because I am not the mother .. but the babysitter ..." replied the woman.
*

So that was my story hope the admins and reader enjoys it..owh and i would like to change my username to:Cyshix,the old person who used this account doesn't use it anymore..so! Thanks if the admins are willing to consider it!


(Granted)

I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
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#167 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:43 PM
Alright...here we go...
*cracks knuckles*

Now this story is 100% true, I kid you not. I could not make something like this up.

I work at the front desk at a popular hotel chain and it was a busy Saturday night during the summer so there were two of us working the evening shift. This is a phone call I received:

Me: Thank you for calling *workplace*, this is Lacey, how may I help you?

Window Guy: I've been stuck at this window for three hours!

Me: Pardon me? You've been standing outside our window? (We have a night window that we use during the graveyard shift. This was about 9 o'clock at night so our lobby was still open.)

WG: Who did I call?

Me: This is *workplace.* It's a hotel.

WG: I am so embarrassed! I called the wrong number! You see, I stuck my head outside my bathroom window and I've been stuck in the window for three hours! I can't get my head out! I was calling for help and my landlord walked over, looked at me, and then walked away!

He then goes off for like ten minutes lamenting over his situation. Meanwhile, I am trying SO HARD not to laugh. My co-worker is shooting confused glances over my way wondering what the hell I'm talking about. WG finally (mercifully) hangs up.

CW: What the hell was that?

Me: You won't believe this and you're gonna think I'm full of crap. This dude just called me telling me he got his head stuck in a window for three hours. And that's not even the worst part! This is the SECOND time I got this phone call!!

CW:

This was obviously a prank call. The first time, fine...weird stuff happens. The second time? Yeah, I don't think so. A couple days ago I was talking with that same co-worker and she got the call herself last week. Window Guy strikes again!

As for the username, I'd like to get it changed to Magic And Pancakes. I saw HystericalParoxysm use it on the overview of one of her creations (I forget which one. It's been years.) and it has always tickled me. It made me laugh then and it continues to make me laugh. It's also my name on the PSN...so...yeah. Consistency. Personal amusement and consistency are my reasons. And Jedi Master Annie sucks out loud.

(The one that this goes with is about 4 pages back. Granted now)

I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
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#168 Old 23rd Jan 2013 at 9:49 PM
Not bad for a thread that used to be 31 pages long.

Yes, there was some editing. And I didn't include smilies or formatting in most of it, so the original thread is sometimes better. But the laughs (And attempts at them) are preserved here now.

I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
 
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