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Test Subject
Original Poster
#226 Old 9th Aug 2007 at 10:23 AM
stormy: if you look back you'll find he crops up throughout the story, the beginning (the man who was high on drugs) there was chapter 3 I think, no wait it was 4, (the man who tried to drag little iris into a bush) and of course, the owner of the brothel and the man who threatened Jack.

montridge: hmm I'll get started on the epi asap,, but I must say, I loved the ending of that chapter I posted yesterday

Quote:
she was going to make him pay, oh yes.
For everything.


that is just a really good ending
but thanks for the feedback
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#227 Old 9th Aug 2007 at 1:31 PM
:hi:
Thats really good
When are you going to write more?
:wave:
Test Subject
Original Poster
#228 Old 9th Aug 2007 at 2:04 PM
guitaristruleok: soon, thats all I can say
Test Subject
Original Poster
#229 Old 9th Aug 2007 at 3:23 PM
it's funny, I've got all the pictures done and am about to start writing, but I wonder if I should let it wait till tuesday, what do yu think?
(I think I know the answer heh heh heh...)
Test Subject
Original Poster
#230 Old 9th Aug 2007 at 4:50 PM
Default Epilogue *Waking Dreams*



A mountain range, beneath a red sky, a sky so clear you could see the stars and the galaxies, rotating in their own personal haven. Everything on a particular plateau was calm to the sight, but if you looked harder, with a clearer mind, you would see the rage and chaos burning everywhere. This was a place where only those with the calmest and clearest mind, those who knew who they were, where they were, only they could see it truly. They would see how the colours they saw were a little more intense that it would be thought natural. It was said they could see through space and time itself, into other worlds, worlds where everything was what dreams are made of.


People would look, and say they could see it, but they couldn’t. To look is not to see, they could not see how the world was so poisoned by those creatures who thought they had conquered it. How ignorant they were.
Under the red sky, the clear red sky, so clear you could see everything if you looked, a girl stood. Unsure where she was, and how she got there. Just standing there, in a white dress, looking up at the clear red sky bemusedly. She could see everything, and she was just working it out.


Diana walked over to the edge of the plateau and looked down. Straight down.
All she saw was a ravine that sank into darkness, but something told her there was more to it than met the eye. Sounds came out of it, such strange sounds. Voices, muffled so she couldn’t hear the words clearly. Two words she was able to pick out came from a girls voice, it sounded familiar.
Wake up.
Those were the words, but wake up from what?
Another sound she heard was a rhythmic beeping, never stopping, and endless high pitched drumbeat. It was rather unnerving, but Diana noticed that the closer she got to the ravine the louder and clearer these sounds got, and the stronger the impulse to throw herself into the void became.


Diana was scared. What would happen if she jumped over the edge? What would happen if she fell into the blackness? She would almost certainly die, but would she?
There was definitely something down there, and Diana desperately wanted to find out what it was, but she was too scared to jump.


Diana jumped at a sound behind her and turned around. A bright shape, light and dark at the same time was forming, into what looked like a man.
This, man held out a hand to her and Diana realised where she was. This man of the light was a gateway, so was the ravine. Gateways to other worlds, and she had to make a choice. The world she was in, the world between worlds, it was becoming more chaotic. She couldn’t stay here forever; she had to choose a gate.
But which one?


With barely time to think Diana made her choice. She turned and threw herself bodily into the ravine and began to fall, the sounds getting louder and clearer as she fell down and down and down.


Diana began to think she had made a mistake, did she make the wrong choice?
But it was too late to turn back now.


All she could do was to fall and wait for it to end.
All she did was open her eyes.
Instructor
#231 Old 9th Aug 2007 at 6:34 PM
AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
I'm hoping that she fell back into life and will wake up in the hospital!
The chapter and cliffhanger were excellant.
*chants* please wake up Diana. :weep:
Test Subject
Original Poster
#232 Old 9th Aug 2007 at 7:59 PM
thats it, but you never know, that's the epilogue, I've decided not to tell you whether she wakes up or not, but let you hang on it, but I might change the last bit to:
all she did was open her eyes
or should I leave it as it is?

EDIT: was that ahhhhhhhhhh! as a sigh or a scream?
I may take one last picture to cheer you all up, maybe...
Test Subject
#233 Old 11th Aug 2007 at 6:51 AM
was this the end?
Im assuming she woke up.... but I want to know what happens with her husband, and if they ever catch that man... and what about Iris chasing him? Did she catch him and and do something? did he do something to her? What about Caleb? Does he take a stand against his parents?

...Im a girl of many questions :p
This was really great Jenny and the pictures were really nice too
Goodjob! :thumb:

Test Subject
Original Poster
#234 Old 14th Aug 2007 at 6:02 PM
I told you I'd leave it at a mysterious ending :D
but can you guess the underlying emotion(s) in the final chapter?
Test Subject
Original Poster
#235 Old 14th Aug 2007 at 10:54 PM
I've been looking at stormy's new story and for fun I checked the ratings, she got 4.40 in 5 votes, I got less than that in 17 votes! well done stormy! *claps and whoops wildly* ok that was a bit random, but I like her story's especially her newest one.
On another subject, when are the mods going to move this to the completed story's section?
by the way I don't actually care whether you love my story, or hate it, so you can say if it's rubbish and I won't mind, it's good to know these things, but it was fun writing this story and I wish it never had to end, but all things must come to an end, nothing lasts forever, and I'm fine with that, I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wouldn't want to live forever, would you?
being immortal is not the same as being immortalised.
#236 Old 14th Aug 2007 at 11:04 PM
Aww thanks Jennywren! *blushes* Your story is great too!! :D
Test Subject
Original Poster
#237 Old 14th Aug 2007 at 11:05 PM
awww thanks, I must always comment on good storys, it's a craving, whether on my thread or yours
#238 Old 14th Aug 2007 at 11:08 PM
Yep! Here, here!
Instructor
#239 Old 16th Aug 2007 at 12:30 AM
My AAAAAHHH was a scream. Even though I actually voted for a mysterious ending, I'm a brat and wanted more. As for putting this into the complete list, I think you have to PM a mod and let them know.
Lab Assistant
#240 Old 16th Aug 2007 at 2:35 AM
i love this story! i'm almost sorry to see it end!! the pictures were fantastic [especially the end] & the story was well-written! good job!
Test Subject
Original Poster
#241 Old 16th Aug 2007 at 11:04 AM
yay! I have another fan! actutally my cousin gave me the idea for the epilogue, she also tried to persuade me to add more spice into it, like an affair, didn't want to, I was just focusing on what happened.
I know! I'll do one smaller chapter to show you what happens between Iris and Jock
Instructor
#242 Old 1st Sep 2007 at 5:04 PM
Woah. Woah! That was AMAZING! I'm taken by surprise at every update you post, they're all so amazing. But yay, an extra chapter? I can't wait! That was amazing, but I think the cliffhanger would have driven me crazy! :D
Test Subject
Original Poster
#243 Old 2nd Sep 2007 at 2:08 PM
sorry I can't any more, dad rebuilt the computer and I don't have the sims any more, I'm leaving it there for you to imagine what will will happen
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